What is domestic violence against men?

Domestic violence is when someone uses violence or controlling techniques to gain power over somebody in their family.

Domestic violence is the same, whether it happens to men, women or children. It doesn’t matter if you are in a same-sex relationship or part of any culture, ethnic group or religion. Abusive relationships can happen between parents and children, partners or even between brothers and sisters.

What are the signs that you may be experiencing domestic violence?

There are many different types of domestic violence, including:

• physical assault — punching, slapping, hitting, scratching
• bullying
• emotional and psychological abuse — yelling, put-downs, being ignored
• limiting decision making — having all decisions made for you
• social isolation — not being able to see your family or friends
• dominating behaviour — behaviour that frightens, harms or controls you

How can I break the cycle of abuse?

The first step is to realise that the abuse is happening.

Once you realise that abuse it happening to you, there are things you can to do try and break the cycle such as:

• report what is going on to the police or someone you trust
• get support from someone you trust
• write a safety plan of how to keep yourself safe and where to go if you’re in danger
• keep a journal of everything that happens

Sadly, if the abuse has happened once, it can happen again. Remember that you are not the one to blame for what is happening.

What if people don't believe me?

You might worry that people won’t believe you if you tell them. That is why it is important to find someone you trust. Sometimes the best people to talk to are professionals, such as the police, a doctor or counsellor. They understand that men, as well as women, can be in abusive relationships.

How to deal with stigma

You might also be worried about stigma and what people will think of you if you talk about the abuse but men have the same right to be safe as everyone else. Here are some tips that might help:

• remember that the violence is not your fault
• choose who you tell and what you tell
• talk to a professional domestic violence service