Bullying

5-minute read

Key facts

Bullying is behaviour that is repeated and intended to cause psychological, social or physical harm.
Bullying can be harmful to your mental health, your self-esteem and your social relationships.
People who bully often have low self-esteem.
If you are being bullied or you know of someone who is being bullied, there are ways to stop it and places to go for advice and support.

What is bullying?

Bullying is when people deliberately use words or actions repeatedly against an individual or a group to cause physical, social and/or psychological harm. They usually want to make the person feel less powerful or helpless.

It can happen anywhere — at school, at work, at home, online, or via text messaging or email. Bullying can come in different forms, all of which cause distress and pain for the person who is being bullied.

Bullying can be:

physical, such as hitting, poking, tripping or pushing
verbal, such as name calling, insults or abuse
social (covert or hidden), such as lying about someone, spreading rumours, mimicking or deliberately excluding someone
psychological, such as threatening, manipulating or stalking behaviour
online, often referred to as cyberbullying, which means using technology such as email, mobile phones, chat rooms or networking sites to bully verbally, socially or psychologically. It can involve sharing of photos which upset or embarrass the person being bullied and taunting or malicious comments. Often people who bully online also bully in person.
behaviour at work that is physically, mentally or socially threatening. This can include intimidation, threats, exclusion, verbal or physical abuse.

Bullying is not the same as harassment. While harassment can be an element of bullying, harassment can be a one-off conflict or can happen between strangers. Bullying is repeated behaviour that intends to cause physical, social or psychological harm.

Why do people bully?

There are different reasons why people bully, including:

wanting to dominate others and improve their social status
having low self-esteem
having a lack of remorse or failing to recognise their behaviour as a problem
feeling angry or frustrated
struggling socially
being the victim of bullying themselves

Some children who bully may enjoy getting their own way. Others may like conflict and aggression. Some may be thoughtless, rather than deliberately hurtful. Some may have difficulties with health, schoolwork and self-esteem. And some may be emotionally neglected, bullied, abused or be experiencing violence themselves.

Bullies are more likely to have lifelong issues such as depression or problems with aggression. But early treatment can prevent this from happening.

Children can take on different roles in different circumstances. Those who are bullied in one situation may be the bully in another.

What are the signs my child is being bullied?

Bullying can happen to anyone at any age. Very few children tell anyone that they’re being bullied. They may feel weak, ashamed or frightened it will make the situation worse. Signs your child is possibly being bullied include:

not wanting to go to school
being unusually secretive and quiet
having no friends
appearing oversensitive or weepy
having angry outbursts
having damaged or missing belongings
having physical injuries like bruises, cuts or scratches
not sleeping properly
wetting the bed
becoming isolated and withdrawn
losing interest in normal activities
having physical aches and pains like headaches or stomach aches
receiving more messages than usual via social media

How might bullying affect me or my child?

Bullying affects everyone differently, but if you’re being bullied you may feel:

guilty because you think it’s your fault
hopeless because you don’t know how to get out of the situation
alone, with no one to help you
depressed and rejected by others
unsafe and afraid
confused and stressed
ashamed that it’s happening to you

Bullying can affect your mental health at any age. It can lead to loneliness, anxiety and depression in children. People who are bullied in the workplace have a higher risk than others of experiencing depression and having suicidal thoughts.

Remember, you have a right to feel safe and be treated with fairness and respect. Find out more about your rights on the Australian Human Rights Commission website.

How can bullying be stopped?

If bullying is not challenged and stopped, it can contribute to a culture where bullying is tolerated and everyone feels powerless to stop it.

If you are the person being bullied, you may need to use a few different strategies, such as:

talking to a person you trust
taking someone you trust with you when you seek help or talk to the bully
writing what you want to say to the bully in an email or letter

If you feel safe and confident, you can approach the bully about why their behaviour is not OK.

If your child is being bullied:

help your child stay focused on finding a solution
assure your child it’s not their fault
talk to your child about different ways to relate to the bully and practise with them through role play
let your child know you will contact their school

If it’s violent or threatening, tell the police.

Your employer has a legal responsibility to provide a safe workplace, and a duty of care when it comes to your health and wellbeing at work. You can read more about workplace bullying on the Fair Work Commission’s website.

Resources and support

You can find information about bullying at school on the Bullying No Way! website and about cyberbullying on the Office of the eSafety Commissioner website.