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How to help someone with depression

11-minute read

If you, or someone you know, is having suicidal thoughts and is in immediate danger, call triple zero (000). For help and support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Key facts

  • If someone you know has depression, it can be hard to know how to help them.
  • The best thing you can do is show your support by checking in with them, listening and encouraging them to get help.
  • You can encourage them to access resources and support services.
  • While you are supporting someone with depression, it's very important to take care of yourself too.

What is depression?

Depression is a mental health condition that causes you to feel sad or have a low mood.

While it is normal to feel down sometimes, if these feelings last for 2 weeks or more, or your mood gets in the way of your day-to-day life, you may be experiencing depression.

Depression affects about 1 in 7 Australians. If you or someone you care about is experiencing an episode of intensely low mood, remember that depression can be treated and support is available. It's important to seek help early.

Read more about depression.

How can I recognise the signs of depression?

If someone you know has depression, they may show some of the following signs for at least 2 weeks, including:

Everyone experiences depression differently and will show different symptoms. People of different genders may also express symptoms differently. Men are more likely to talk about the physical symptoms of depression such as feeling tired, irritable or angry, rather than saying they feel low and women may be more visibly teary.

Read more on depression in men.

Read more on depression in women.

CHECK YOUR SYMPTOMS — Use the Symptom Checker and find out if you need to seek medical help.

What can I do to help someone with depression?

When someone you know has depression, it can be difficult to know how to best support them. What you find simple may seem overwhelming to them.

It's important to understand that depression isn't something that you can just 'snap out of'. Like any illness, depression needs treatment, and time for recovery.

Recovery from depression is a unique and personal process. The best thing you can do for someone with depression is to be there for them.

Below are some tips on how to support someone with depression.

Listening

You can help someone with depression by giving them a safe space to talk. It's important to:

Offering support

People with depression may find it hard to do ordinary tasks, such as:

They may also be unable to do things that they previously enjoyed.

The person may feel like a burden to their friends and family. They may be worried about facing stigma about their illness. This can prevent them from asking for help. You can support them by:

It's always a good idea to ask first before helping them. This way, the person you are supporting has a choice and is not being told what to do. You can also understand what will actually help them during this time. Remind them that:

Sometimes they may reject your help, but even just offering your support and care can make a difference.

Seeking help together

A person with depression may already be receiving help from a doctor or another professional, such as a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.

If they haven't spoken to a doctor about getting professional help, you can encourage them to do so. The best place to start is for them to contact their GP. They can:

A mental health professional can:

They can also make an appointment with a psychologist or counsellor without a referral. But, seeing their doctor first means they may be able to get a Mental Health Treatment Plan. This can help cover some of the costs through Medicare. Ask about fees and out-of-pocket costs when booking your appointment.

Someone with depression may feel unmotivated or nervous about getting help. You can offer to find a health professional and help them make an appointment.

If you feel comfortable, you can offer to take them to their appointment and wait with them, or go in with them if they would like support.

The person you care for may not want to get help. If so, it might help to offer them information about what support is available, and how to reach out to support services.

If that doesn't work, give it time. Continue to support them by checking in on a regular basis. Keep gently bringing up the idea of getting more support. Even if it doesn't feel like it, your support is likely to be having a positive impact.

FIND A HEALTH SERVICE — The Service Finder can help you find doctors, pharmacies, hospitals and other health services.

Supporting their recovery

People with depression may feel unmotivated to follow their treatment or recovery plan. You can help support their recovery.

Treatment for depression can include medicines and therapy. Encourage them to take their medicine. It can take weeks to months for some antidepressants to be fully effective.

Some people want to stop taking medicines due to unpleasant side effects, or when they feel better. They should talk to their doctor or mental health professional first.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR — Preparing for an appointment? Use the Question Builder for general tips on what to ask your GP or specialist.

You can help someone with depression by encouraging them to:

How can I talk to someone with depression?

It can be difficult to speak to someone with a mental illness. It is important that you make them feel supported and comfortable.

Before speaking to someone who has depression, ask yourself some key questions:

If you feel ready to talk, you can:

If the person does not want to talk, you can let them know that they can speak to you if, and when, they ever want to. Ask them if they would prefer to speak to someone else.

If they do want to talk, listen openly. Don't offer advice or judgement — instead, use open questions (questions that can't be answered with a 'yes' or 'no'), such as:

Validate their feelings with responses such as 'I can hear that this has been very difficult for you'. If you don't understand something they have told you, you can ask, 'Have I understood that correctly?'.

How can I address talk of suicide?

If you are worried someone is feeling suicidal, it is okay to ask them directly. Asking them if they are safe won't put ideas in their heads. It will make them feel heard, understood and cared for.

Take any talk about suicide seriously. A number of support services can help someone who is feeling suicidal.

If you, or someone you know, is having suicidal thoughts and is in immediate danger, call triple zero (000). For help and support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

How can I look after myself?

The symptoms of depression can also affect the person's family and friends. Looking after your own physical and emotional needs is very important. This helps you to continue to support your loved one throughout their illness and recovery. Make sure you take time out and continue to prioritise things you enjoy.

If you are supporting someone with depression, it's important to look after yourself by:

You may want to seek support for yourself too.

Resources and support

There are resources available with more information on caring for someone experiencing depression:

If you are supporting someone with depression, you can get support for yourself:

Supporting a child with depression can be difficult for parents and carers. There are resources available to help you as you help your child:

QLife provides a counselling and referral service for LGBTQI+ people. You can refer someone to call them on 1800 184 527.

If you are concerned that someone is suicidal, there are crisis lines available. You can call:

You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

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