Support for children with cancer

Childhood cancer is a group of cancers that affect children and teenagers, usually younger than 15 years.

If your child has been diagnosed with cancer, there will be physical, emotional and practical challenges ahead. You may have a lot of different feelings. Childhood cancer can disrupt your child's and your family's lives. There is a lot of support and information out there to help both you and your family.

The most common childhood cancers are:

• leukaemia
• lymphoma
• brain cancer

Scientists have made big progress in cancer research. Treatments have improved and many cancers are now treatable. Survival rates have improved for many different cancers.

Your child's outlook depends on what kind of cancer they have and what stage their cancer is when diagnosed.

When you first tell your child they have cancer, keep your explanation simple. You can tell them the name of the cancer, where it is in their body and how it will be treated.

For example, "You have a lump growing inside your leg that shouldn't be there. It is called cancer. You will have an operation to take it away. Afterwards, your doctor will give you medicine to make sure the lump does not come back."

How you tell your child and how much information you share depends on their age, development and maturity. You can ask your child's healthcare team for guidance on how to talk to your child.

Here are some tips to support your child when discussing their diagnosis:

• Give your child the opportunity to ask questions and to share their feelings.
• Your child may need reassurance. Tell them that nothing they did caused the cancer. Reinforce that you will always look after them and be there for them.
• Be open, positive and honest with your child.
• If you need to repeat information, use the same words. You may also need to explain more than once. Be patient.
• If your child is a teenager, they may look for information on the internet. You can help them understand whether the information they find is correct and relevant.

Remember, all children respond differently. There is no right or wrong way for them to react. It is normal if your child responds with anger, denial or even silence.

Not telling your child about a cancer diagnosis can make things worse. It may make them anxious (Opens in new tab) because they will probably sense something is wrong. It is better for them to discuss it with you than to find out from someone else.

The Cancer Council's book Talking to kids about cancer (Opens in new tab) explains how to discuss cancer with your children.

Here are some tips to support your child in coping with a cancer diagnosis:

• Give your child lots of love in a way they appreciate. Spend time with them. Show your child you will always be there. Pay attention to their needs.
• Calmly and reassuringly focus your child on what will be done to get better.
• Find out as much as you can about your child's diagnosis, treatment and side effects, so you can be prepared to answer their questions.
• Stick to your regular routines and boundaries as much as possible. Let your child go to childcare or school if possible. Let them play with other children. Your child's doctors will tell you what is safe.
• Try to accept your child's resentment of cancer and changes to their life.
• Help your child anticipate how their life might change.
• If your child is older, involve them in medical discussions as much as possible.

You might notice some changes in your child's behaviour. They may have trouble being away from you, or cry and scream more than usual. They may not cooperate during tests.

Some children may 'regress'. They will act younger than they are. They might stop doing things they knew how to do before. They may become withdrawn and not want to play as much. You may also notice changes to their sleeping patterns and toileting.

Many hospitals provide education and activities for children with cancer. They may also have an educational psychologist and counsellor to help them during their time in hospital.

How you help your child cope with cancer treatments depends on their age, development and what they understand. Your child's healthcare team will guide you on how best you can support them.

Here are some general tips:

• Distraction — if your child is young, you may find distracting them during treatment and tests helps them cope. You can use interactive books, games, songs, TV or computer games.
• Participation — if your child wants to get involved in their treatment, discuss this with their nurse. For example, they can help their nurse prepare for a procedure or choose where to get an injection.
• Positive self-talk — empower your child with mantras such as "I can do this", "I've got this" or "I'll be OK".
• Your child may need to spend a lot of time in the hospital — bring their comfort items, such as a teddy bear, toys or other special items.
• If you feel your child is struggling to cope, discuss this with their doctor or nurse. Seek support and appropriate help for them.
• If your child is older, encourage them to see their friends if they feel like it. They need an outlet and support network.
• Give clear and honest information to your child.

Your child's cancer and treatment will physically affect your child. Discuss with your child's doctor which side effects your child may develop. This way you can prepare your child. You will also have strategies to manage these side effects.

If your child has a weakened immune system because of their treatments, they may need a mask or strict hygiene habits to protect them from infections.

Learn more about helping your child cope with tests and procedures (Opens in new tab).

You can support your child as they recover from cancer by being aware of their physical and emotional needs. As you celebrate their recovery, new challenges may come along.

Your child's cancer treatments may have lasted several years. During this time, they may have missed out on reaching important developmental milestones. In addition, your child's treatments can severely affect your child. They can cause ongoing health complications.

It may not be possible for things to go back to exactly how they were before your child had cancer. Your child may need ongoing therapies, such as physiotherapy or occupational therapy.

Your child will also need to go back to school or childcare. Depending on their age and how their cancer has affected them, this can cause some social anxiety and other challenges.

Your child may also feel worried that the cancer will come back. They may not have the skills to cope with these feelings and may develop difficult behaviours. Some children develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Here are some tips to help your child cope:

• Find local social support services. Speak with your child's care team to learn what is available.
• Openly communicate with your child's school. This way you can work together to help your child.
• If age appropriate, encourage your child to join a support group with other children who are facing similar challenges.
• Seek support from a counsellor or therapist who can help your child develop effective coping strategies.
• Be patient and sensitive with your child.

How you support your other children depends on their age, development and temperament. Having a brother or sister go through cancer can be an overwhelming and lonely time for your other children. Family relationships may be different to usual.

Your children may feel resentful, angry or afraid. They may struggle to express and process their emotions. Their behaviour might change.

Here are some tips to support your other children:

• Talk to them, share with them what is going on and include them in family discussions and decisions when appropriate.
• Maintain your children's regular routines and family life as much as possible.
• Share what is going on with your children's schools and childcare. Your child's performance and behaviour at school or childcare may be negatively affected. This way your child's school or childcare can appropriately support them.
• Spend some time with your other children. Reassure them that you love them.
• Reach out for help — if you feel your child is struggling to cope with their sibling's cancer diagnosis and treatment, speak with their doctor, or with the team caring for your child with cancer. They can help you get the right support for siblings.

Your child's cancer team can guide you on how best to support your children. They will consider your personal circumstances.

Siblings Australia (Opens in new tab) provides information and support for siblings of a child with an illness who are aged between 8 and 12 years.

Read more about support for parents of children with cancer.

• Download Camp Quality's Kids' Guide to Cancer app (Opens in new tab) for age-appropriate cancer education for children up to 15 years old.
• If your child is over 5 years of age, they can get support from Kids Helpline (Opens in new tab) on 1800 55 1800.
• Cancer Australia has more information for parents about living with childhood cancer (Opens in new tab).
• Check out the Ronald McDonald Learning Program (Opens in new tab) or MissingSchool (Opens in new tab) to support your child's education while they are living with cancer.

Other languages

Camp Quality have translated their kids' guide to cancer (Opens in new tab) into many community languages.

Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples

Our Mob and Cancer (Opens in new tab) is a safe place for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people to learn about cancer.