Healing happens over time. You may always carry some sadness and miss a person once they are gone, but the painful, intense feelings should gradually subside. It eventually becomes easier to deal with life.
Allow yourself to grieve
Exploring and expressing emotions can be a part of the healing process. Listening to music or writing can help. Time spent alone can allow you to connect with your emotions.
It’s also important to spend time with supportive people. Accept offers of help, talk about your loved one, or simply spend time with others.
Create positive memories
Honour the life of the person who has died. Collect photos or keepsakes, write a journal, or share stories and rituals with others. These can all help to create meaning after loss.
Look after your health
Birthdays, anniversaries or holidays can trigger intense feelings of grief. It may help to mark these occasions with a simple ceremony like lighting a candle, playing music or gathering with family.
Supporting someone through grief
Get in touch and be available to spend time together. Respect that your friend may need to cry, hug, talk, be silent or be alone.
It can be difficult to know what to say, particularly if you have not experienced grief before. There may be no words that can really help, but listening can be a great support. Don’t be afraid to talk about the person who has died – the person you are supporting may want to hear their name. Try to avoid clichés or giving advice.
Do something together
Spend some time doing ordinary and positive things like watching a movie, going for a walk or having a meal together.
Cooking meals or looking after children can be a great gift to people dealing with grief.
Grief may last for a long time. Birthdays and anniversaries may be difficult for a bereaved person, so calling them on that day can let them know you haven’t forgotten.
For more help and information
If you need someone to talk to, or want to find out more, these organisations can help you:
Last reviewed: February 2018