How to care for someone with dementia at home

In-home care is one of many ways a person with dementia can be cared for.

Caring for someone at home involves helping them to live at home safely and with dignity.

Carers might be a family member, partner or friend who has become a primary carer.

If you're a carer of a person with dementia, you can help them with:

• planning and travelling to appointments and social events
• looking after their home or pets
• planning, cooking and eating healthy meals
• taking medicines and looking after their general health
• personal care, such as showering, dressing and dental care
• managing their personal matters and money

At first, your loved one may not want help. Encourage them to keep doing what they can independently for as long as possible.

You can offer support by providing a familiar routine, safe activities and friendly company.

As their symptoms progress, you may need extra help to care for them.

When your loved one is first diagnosed with dementia, it can help to talk with them about the condition. You could learn about dementia together and how to manage their life after a dementia diagnosis.

As dementia worsens, you will need to change the way you communicate.

You can make communication easier with someone with dementia by:

• speaking slowly and using short sentences
• giving one instruction at a time
• using a calm, reassuring tone
• avoiding arguing or correcting them
• using touch, eye contact and facial expressions to support what you say

People with dementia may become agitated or behave in ways that are hard to manage. This can make social situations or outings in the community feel difficult, even with people you know well.

Behaviour changes may include:

• becoming upset or irritable
• arguing, complaining or shouting
• being physically or verbally aggressive
• repeating questions or following a carer from room to room, which may be due to anxiety
• feeling low, depressed or losing interest in things they used to enjoy
• hoarding, rummaging or pacing
• saying or doing things that are socially or sexually inappropriate

Remember that unusual or difficult behaviour can be part of dementia. The person you care for is not doing these things on purpose or to upset you. Try to understand what they may be experiencing.

Sometimes, you may be able to identify what is causing the behaviour and make changes. Possible causes include:

• loneliness or boredom
• fear, confusion or frustration
• hunger, dehydration or constipation
• pain or discomfort
• not having their glasses or hearing aids
• a change in their usual routine

Stay calm and speak gently. Reassuring or distracting them may help the behaviour pass more quickly than getting angry or correcting them.

If you are caring for someone with challenging behaviour of dementia, call the Dementia Behaviour Management Advisory Service (DBMAS) (Opens in new tab) for advice and support.

It's common for people with dementia to wander away. They may try to leave a place because they don't understand why they are there. This can be unsafe, especially if they get lost or forget to eat and drink.

To help lower the chance of a person with dementia trying to leave their home unsafely, you can:

• create a regular, daily routine, so they know what to expect
• offer activities to keep them engaged — try things they enjoyed before, such as music, crafts, looking at old photos, cooking simple food, local walks or going for a drive
• stay close and supervise them, especially during times when they are likely to wander like late afternoon or evening, when they feel restless or confused or when they are in unfamiliar places
• reduce the triggers that might make them try to leave, such as noisy or busy environments
• make the home environment safer, such as installing sound and motion detectors and giving them an identification bracelet

You can help them feel calm and safe at night by:

• keeping lighting low but visible (for example, night lights)
• following the same bedtime routine each night
• limiting long naps during the day
• reassuring them calmly if they wake and feel confused

A dementia friendly home can make it easier for the person you care for to live safely and independently. They may have poor eyesight or forget where things are.

Remove unused items from each room to make it easier to move around and reduce the risk of falls.

You can reduce a person's chance of falls by:

• making sure the floors are not slippery
• avoiding loose carpets and other trip hazards like clutter
• making sure the house is well-lit
• remembering that some people with dementia may use furniture for balance and support

To help a person remember daily tasks and reminisce on their past, you can:

• label objects and locations if a person tends to forget them
• use a noticeboard or place sticky notes around, such as on the fridge
• place common objects in the same spot every day
• place photos and familiar objects around the home

Here are more ways to help someone with dementia live well and do things for themselves at home.

Living room

Make the living room safe and comfortable by:

• providing seating in natural light
• choosing a chair that is easy to get in and out of
• keeping a table within reach for everyday items

Bathroom and laundry

To make the bathroom and laundry easier and safer to use, consider:

• non-slip flooring
• a walk-in shower with rails and a chair
• clearly marked hot and cold taps
• a toilet seat in a contrasting colour to the tiles to make it easier to see
• placing everyday items somewhere easy to find
• installing a drain in the floor in case the tap is left on
• clearly marked appliances with simple instructions

Bedroom

Create a calm, safe bedroom with:

• clear, uncluttered spaces
• simple bedding
• wall lights that cannot be knocked over
• a bed at a safe, comfortable height
• a chair for support while dressing

Kitchen and dining

Make the kitchen and dining area safer and easier to use by:

• using plates that contrast with the table colour
• choosing a chair with back and arm support
• keeping related items together, such as the kettle and tea supplies
• using appliances that turn off automatically

You can keep outdoor areas safe by:

• making backyard paths even and slip-free
• sweeping outdoor areas regularly and removing hazards
• removing any overhanging tree branches
• hiding garbage or compost bins
• storing dangerous objects securely in a shed or garage
• checking that verandas and balconies are safe

Driving

Dementia can affect the skills needed for safe driving. A diagnosis does not always mean someone must stop driving straight away. But they should tell their insurer and licensing authority and speak with their doctor about what is safe.

A person with dementia will eventually need to stop driving as dementia progresses. Read more in our article on dementia and driving.

Dementia is a progressive condition. This means that symptoms get worse over time. You might notice changes to how they:

• communicate
• eat and drink
• care for their personal hygiene
• think

The person you are caring for might:

• refuse help with bathing, dressing or grooming
• cry out or scream
• become aggressive
• have delusions or hallucinations — believing in things that are not there

If you're unsure what to do next, speak to your doctor or contact a support group.

Read more about dementia symptoms:

• Alzheimer's disease
• Lewy body dementias
• vascular dementia
• younger onset dementia
• cognitive impairment

Planning ahead can help make sure future decisions reflect the person's values and wishes.

As a carer, you are in a good position to understand what someone would like to happen to them in the future. You can help them with:

• legal and financial matters (Opens in new tab), such as an enduring power of attorney
• making or updating their will
• planning for future medical care needs including advance care planning
• planning for end-of-life care and dying at home

Speak with their doctor if you're concerned about changes in the person you care for, including:

• memory, thinking or confusion
• behaviour
• language or movement
• eating or drinking, including loss of appetite
• falls risk
• medicines, such as refusing them or needing changes
• where to get more help and support
• what to do if you can't care for your loved one

If you do not understand what a healthcare professional says, ask them to explain it another way.

Caring for someone with dementia can be rewarding, but it can also affect your emotional, physical and financial wellbeing. It's important to take breaks, ask for help and seek support if you need it.

Support is available to help you manage challenges, take breaks and access financial support.

When you need a break or can no longer care for your loved one support is available, including:

• respite care — in-home and centre-based services
• long-term care — retirement villages, residential aged-care and special care
• palliative care — specialised medical care

There is a range of support and resources that can help.

• Get more advice on how to make a home dementia friendly (Opens in new tab) from Dementia Australia (Opens in new tab).
• For advice about behaviour changes of someone with dementia, visit Dementia Behaviour Management Advisory Service (DBMAS) (Opens in new tab)or call on 1800 699 799.
• Carers Australia (Opens in new tab) represents unpaid carers and has information about caring for someone with dementia (Opens in new tab).
• Carer Gateway (Opens in new tab) helps carers access counselling and support.
• My Aged Care (Opens in new tab) has information on how to access aged care, including advice on finances (Opens in new tab) for older people.
• Visit Services Australia (Opens in new tab) to learn about and apply for benefits and payments for carers (Opens in new tab).
• Use can also use the Healthdirect Service Finder to locate a counsellor near you.

Languages other than English

Carer Gateway (Opens in new tab) has support and advice for carers in different languages (Opens in new tab)

Support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples

Caring for Spirit (Opens in new tab) has dementia resources for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.