What is safe sex?

Safe sex (sometimes called safer sex) is when you and your partner have sexual contact whilst protecting yourselves against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancies.

Safe sex reduces your risk of catching an STI, as it reduces direct contact with your partner's body and body fluids (blood, semen or vaginal secretions) that can carry infections.

Safe sex also reduces your chance of unplanned pregnancy.

Safe sex also means making sure that sexual activity always takes place with both partners' consent. You should both feel respected and not pressured. Sexual assault includes any unwanted behaviour of a sexual nature that makes you feel uncomfortable, frightened or threatened.

Before you have sex, it's important that you feel comfortable talking to your partner about sex. You should make decisions together about safe sex and using condoms. You have the right to say no to sex if your partner refuses to use condoms.

Withdrawing your penis before ejaculation (also known as the withdrawal method or 'pulling out') is not safe sex, as fluids can be released even before ejaculation.

What is an STI?

An STI is an infection that spreads from one person to another during sexual contact. STIs can be caused by a virus, bacteria or parasite.

Infections that spread through sex include:

• chlamydia
• gonorrhoea
• genital warts
• human papillomavirus (HPV)
• pubic lice ('crabs')
• scabies
• syphilis
• trichomoniasis ('trich')
• genital herpes
• mycoplasma genitalium
• hepatitis B
• HIV

How are STIs spread?

STIs can spread when bodily fluids are shared between people during oral, anal and vaginal sex or by skin-to-skin contact.

STIs can be spread via:

• semen
• vaginal fluids
• anal fluids
• blood
• saliva, in some cases

STIs can affect anyone of any gender or sex. You can catch an STI from any sexual partner, regardless of their gender or sex.

What can I do to stay safe?

Here are some tips to help you practice safe sex:

• Always use a barrier, such as condom, with a water-based lubricant for vaginal, anal or oral sex, or a dental dam for oral sex.
• Communicate openly with your sexual partner about STIs and agree on using condoms before you have sex.
• Limit your number of sexual partners.
• If you have a new partner, make sure you and your partner get checked for STIs before having sex.
• Do not have sex with someone if they have obvious STI symptoms on their mouth, anal or genital areas, such as warts, rashes or itch.
• Wash your sex toys every time you use them.

Condoms

If you have vaginal, anal or oral sex, always use condoms with a water-based lubricant.

Condoms are the only contraceptive method that also protects against unplanned pregnancies and STIs. If you are using another method of contraception, you should also use condoms to protect you from STIs.

Always use a new condom if you change partners, change from vaginal to anal or oral sex or share sex toys.

Remember, condoms will not protect against STIs if the part of the body affected is unprotected and there is skin-to-skin contact.

Dental dams

A dental dam is a thin latex square you can place over your vaginal and anal area to protect you from STIs during oral sex.

Never re-use a dental dam.

Dental dams will not protect you against STIs if the affected body part is not covered by the dam and there is skin-to-skin contact.

Some STIs, such as genital warts, herpes and pubic lice, can spread even if you're using a condom or dental dam. This is because they are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.

Sex without a condom or dam is only safe if you and your partner only have sex with each other and neither of you have an STI.

How do I know if my partner has an STI?

You cannot always know if your sexual partner has an STI.

Some STIs do not cause any symptoms, so you may not know if you have one.

Anyone can catch an STI, even if you are strong and healthy.

What should I do if I think I have an STI?

If you think that you have an STI, see your doctor or local sexual health clinic to be tested. Some STIs can cause health problems if they are not treated early.

If you think you have been exposed to HIV, ask your doctor about taking post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP).

If you have been diagnosed with an STI:

• It is important to follow the treatment your doctor recommended. Finish your treatment, even if you feel better and your symptoms have gone away.
• Tell any recent sexual partners so they can be tested and treated. If you do not feel you can tell your sexual partner/s, you can send them an SMS or text anonymously through some websites, such as the Let Them Know.
• Avoid sexual contact until you have seen your doctor.

Many STIs can be treated with antibiotics. Some, such as herpes and HIV, have no cure, but treatment can help prevent complications.

When should I see my doctor?

You should see your doctor, visit a family planning clinic or a sexual health clinic if you:

• have symptoms of an STI or you are worried you have one
• have had sexual contact with someone who has symptoms of an STI or you are worried they may have one
• are a victim of sexual violence or assault

Anyone who is sexually active should have regular sexual health check-ups. Check with your doctor how often you should have a sexual health check-up.

It is important that you avoid sex until you have been seen by a doctor and get your test results.

How do I discuss STIs with my partner?

It is important to openly talk about STIs with your partner before you have sex. You should agree on using condoms before you have sex. Remember, you have the right to say no to your partner if they do not agree to use condoms.

If you see a visible sore, ulcer or lump on your partner's genitals, anal area or mouth, suggest they visit their doctor, family planning clinic or sexual health clinic.

If you are going to have unprotected sex, talk about the risks involved.

You have a right to know if any of your sexual partners have an STI and vice versa.

What should I do if I've had unprotected sex?

If you have had unprotected sex here are some tips on what to do next.

Prevent a urinary tract infection (UTI)

Straight after sex, urinate, wash yourself and remove any bodily fluids. This can lower your risk of getting a urinary tract infection (UTI). Avoid douching.

If you have been sexually assaulted, do not have a bath, shower or wash yourself. Read more on sexual abuse and assault: getting help.

Emergency contraception

If you are female and you want to avoid an unplanned pregnancy, it is important to take emergency contraception as soon as possible.

Options for emergency contraception include the 'morning after' pill (emergency contraception pill) and a copper intrauterine device (IUD).

Some types of the 'morning after' pill can be taken up to 5 days after you have had unprotected sex. A copper IUD placed within 5 days of unprotected sex can reduce your chance of an unplanned pregnancy.

Seek advice from your doctor or local sexual health clinic.

If it's too late to take emergency contraception, you might choose to take a pregnancy test when your next period is due. If you are pregnant, you can consider whether to continue with the pregnancy. Speak to your doctor or local sexual health clinic to discuss your options. There are many services available to support you.

Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP)

PEP is a medicine that comes as a pill. It reduces your risk of getting HIV if you have been potentially exposed. You can start taking PEP up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. You will need to continue taking it every day for 28 days.

PEP is free. You can get it at most hospital emergency departments or sexual health clinics.

Get a sexual health check

Visit your doctor or local sexual health clinic. They may ask you about your sexual history and examine you. This can include looking at your genitals, anus and mouth for any signs of STIs. They may also recommend screening for STIs with a urine sample or genital swab.

Remember, being honest with your doctor will help them give you the best advice and support. All the information you discuss is confidential.

What should I do if I feel unsafe with my partner?

Any sexual attention that is unwanted and makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened is sexual assault.

If your partner touches you sexually without your consent, or forces you to give consent, this is sexual assault. If this happens, you can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for help and advice. There are also several state and national helplines that you can call.

See your doctor or local sexual health clinic for help with STI testing, emergency contraception and counselling.

Resources and support

• The Let Them Know website helps you send free, anonymous text messages or emails to sexual partners to help with contact tracing.
• Family Planning provides sexual health and reproductive services, including STI testing. Get information and find clinics in your state or territory here.
• Read more about safe sex on the Stop the Rise of STIs Safe Sex webpage.
• If you have been sexually assaulted, you can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for confidential information, counselling and support services.

Do you prefer to read in languages other than English?

Sexual Health Victoria has fact sheets on safe sex in Chinese and Vietnamese.

Family and sexual violence resources are available in community languages through the Tasmanian Government.