What is fear?

Fear is an emotion that you feel when you are threatened by or anticipate:

• danger
• harm
• pain

Everyone experiences fear at some time. It's a normal part of life and can help protect us from harm.

Threats, like an angry, snarling dog or the thought of an angry dog can cause fear. Our nervous system can't tell the difference between a real thing (an aggressive dog in front of us) or a thought (“What if I see a dog when I go for a walk?”).

Threats may also come from things we imagine or think might happen. For example, you may fear that all dogs are going to attack you.

Excessive fear can be a symptom of some mental health conditions, such as:

• post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• panic disorder
• anxiety disorders

Some fears can become persistent (ongoing), irrational and out of proportion to the situation. Fears like this are known as phobias.

This article will talk about managing fears that may hold you back in everyday life.

How can I overcome my fears?

You can start to overcome fears by facing them. 'Facing your fear' might mean doing an activity, going to a place, or interacting with a thing that causes you fear.

The best way to face your fear is to slowly take yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit at a time. This is a type of 'exposure therapy'. It can be hard to do. But, it can help you overcome feelings of anxiety or excessive worry.

It's important that you do this after practising ways of relaxing your body. This helps you to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings that arise during your slow exposure to the thing you fear.

Avoiding things that cause you fear can make your fear worse over time. In the short term, you feel relief.

But avoidance tricks you into feeling safe without testing this out. This can affect your mental health and your everyday life.

What is exposure therapy?

The key to exposure therapy is to gradually increase your exposure to the thing you are fearful of. This is known as 'graded exposure therapy', where you begin with easier situations until you are comfortable with them. Then, you can progress to more difficult ones.

Sometimes people call this a ladder, where the bottom step is the easiest. With a dog phobia you may look at pictures of puppies. The top rung might be walking through a dog park.

Eventually, you will be better at tolerating fear, anxiety and distress. The fear will stop affecting your life in negative ways.

The best exposure therapy is different for each person. For some people, fast exposure to their fear may be most helpful. This is known as 'flooding exposure therapy'.

How does exposure therapy work?

Exposure therapy helps you to confront your fears. You will learn that you are capable of coping with whatever is causing you worry. Your fear won't limit your life.

This way, exposure therapy helps you to replace your feelings of fear with feelings of accomplishment.

Exposure therapy is not about putting yourself in dangerous situations. It's about learning to cope with fears and tolerate the feelings that accompany these fears.

It may take time to get to the point where you no longer feel worried or anxious. Don't be hard on yourself if you find it takes longer than you would like.

If you are trying graded exposure therapy, it's important to be patient and not push yourself too hard or feel pressured by others. It's often best to be guided by a professional experienced with graded exposure.

Start slowly and face your fear bit by bit. If you expose yourself to your fear too quickly it can be unhelpful. You will feel disheartened and believe nothing will help or change.

How do I face my fears?

When facing your fears with graded exposure, start small and learn to relax your body before you confront your fear.

For the first few sessions, try imagining the object of your fear.

Next, you may try looking at the object of your fear. If you are afraid of needles, you could start by imagining a needle. You may then progress to looking at pictures of needles or watching a video of someone getting vaccinated.

Then, you can work up to interacting with or participating in the object of your fear.

If your fear is social situations with groups of people, start with small gatherings. When you feel more comfortable, you can try spending time with larger groups.

Sometimes, virtual reality can be used to help manage specific fears.

Who can help?

It's possible to do exposure therapy yourself, but often it is more effective with the help of a professional.

You can do exposure therapy with a psychologist. Exposure therapy is sometimes done in conjunction with cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). It's also important to learn and practice relaxation skills.

A psychologist can give you advice on the best techniques for you. They can help you plan how to:

• face your fear
• build up tolerance to uncomfortable feelings
• break patterns of fear and avoidance

You can ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist.

Tips for facing your fears

Here are some tips for facing your fears.

• You may find it helpful to do breathing exercises, mindfulness, or slowly swing your arms from side to side when you are feeling anxious.
• Challenge your thoughts — ask yourself if your fears are valid. For example, ask yourself, “How likely is it that my fears will come true?”. Ask yourself, “What is it stopping me doing?” or “Will I regret letting fear rule my life when I'm older?'”.
• Set yourself short-term and long-term goals, and reward yourself every time you reach a goal. Even the smallest of things is an achievement, so give yourself credit.
• Talk to your family and friends about your goals and your plans for facing your fears. They can support you and help you cope with the new challenges you are taking on.

When you are trying something new, or something you have worried about, it's normal to feel a bit of panic. Try not to let this feeling stop you.

Exposure therapy is a process — it will have ups and downs.

If you can't move forward with a difficult step, you can repeat a previous step you were comfortable with. It's important to work at your own pace.

For example, you may be scared of frogs. If you are feeling too panicked to hold a frog, you can try looking at a picture of a frog instead. Look at the frog picture until you can tolerate the feelings in your body without overwhelm.

You can try to hold the frog again later. It's okay to take a step back and try again.

When should I see my doctor?

If your feelings of fear become ongoing and overpowering, you should see your doctor.

Your doctor will be able to assess your symptoms and advise on the best course of action.

If your fear is a symptom of a mental health problem, you may need more support.

Your doctor can refer you to a mental health professional for support, such as a

• psychologist
• psychiatrist
• counsellor

Resources and support

• If you're experiencing a crisis or thinking about suicide, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
• You can also call the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for help if you're thinking about suicide.
• MindSpot Clinic has information and a counselling service for anyone suffering from anxiety or depression. Visit their website or call 1800 614 434.
• Beyond Blue has information and a counselling service for people feeling depressed or anxious. Visit their website or call 1300 22 4636.
• Visit the Black Dog Institute website for digital support if you're experiencing mental illness.

You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.