Making decisions about unplanned pregnancies
10-minute read
Key facts
- Early signs you might be pregnant include missing your period, feeling very tired, nauseous, vomiting, needing to urinate (wee) a lot and having sore or swollen breasts.
- If you are pregnant and it was unplanned, your options include abortion, continuing the pregnancy and keeping the baby, or giving birth and placing your baby for adoption, foster care or kinship.
- Going through an unplanned pregnancy can be very difficult emotionally and physically — reach out to your doctor, counsellor or someone you trust for support.
- Deciding what to do about an unplanned pregnancy can seem overwhelming and very stressful, so take your time to make a decision that is right for you.
What are the signs I might be pregnant?
Early signs that you might be pregnant are:
- you miss a period
- you feel very tired
- your breasts are sore or swollen
- you need to urinate a lot
- you feel nauseous and may vomit
What should I do if I think I might be pregnant?
If you think you are pregnant, you can take a pregnancy test.
You can buy a home pregnancy test, which checks your urine for a hormone that your body makes when you are pregnant. Make sure you follow the instructions on the test kit carefully.
The next step is to see your doctor. They may recommend that you do a blood test and have an ultrasound to confirm your pregnancy. A blood test can pick up a pregnancy a few days earlier than the urine test.
If you are pregnant, it is important to see your doctor as soon as possible, to talk about your health and options.
What options are available?
If you are pregnant, you have a few options:
- keep the baby
- have the baby and then place them for adoption
- have the baby and put them in foster care or kinship care
- have an abortion
Keep the baby
You can choose to have the baby either with a partner or as a single parent.
Read more about maternity care options in Australia, pregnancy check-ups, screening and scans and how to tell people you are pregnant.
Have the baby and then place them for adoption
You can decide to have the baby and then place them for adoption.
Adoption permanently transfers all legal rights and responsibilities for the baby to their adoptive parents.
Read more about deciding to give a baby or child up for adoption.
Read more about how adoption works.
Have the baby and put them in foster care or kinship care
If you are not sure about adoption, but you are also not sure whether you can look after a baby, foster care or kinship care could be a temporary solution.
- Foster care — another person or family cares for your child while you work towards looking after them permanently.
- Kinship care — your child is raised by extended family.
In both cases, you can still see the baby while they are in care (sometimes called out-of-home care).
Read more about foster care or kinship care.
Have an abortion
An abortion ends a pregnancy so the baby is not born. Depending on how many weeks pregnant you are, you could have an abortion by taking a medicine, or by having a surgical procedure.
Abortion, sometimes called termination, is safe and does not affect your ability to have children in future. Your first step should be to see your doctor or family planning clinic as soon as possible.
Read more about surgical and medical abortion options.
It can be helpful to talk to someone you know and trust. Many people find it helpful to speak to a professional, like a doctor or a counsellor. Counsellors can help you work through the emotional, financial and practical issues involved with all the options available to you. It might also help to talk to someone who has been through a similar experience.
How might I feel about an unplanned pregnancy?
An unplanned pregnancy can raise different and sometimes confusing feelings and thoughts. This is very common. Even if a pregnancy is unplanned, it may still be wanted.
A few things might affect how you feel about an unplanned pregnancy. If you are unsure of what to do, you are not alone. While you might know what you want from the outset, you might also find the process of making the decision difficult.
Your feelings can seem confusing since they can often conflict with each other. For example, you may feel:
- anxious, as you consider having a baby (or another baby)
- scared, because you don't know how to be a parent or how to tell people close to you that you are pregnant
- concerned, if your current relationship is not stable
- joy, because this is something you have always dreamed about
- excited, as this may be a new opportunity for you
Even if your feelings seem to conflict with each other, it is important to take the time to process them.
If you are a victim of sexual assault, domestic or family violence, you may wish to report it to the police.
How do I make this decision?
As well as your feelings, there are many things to consider when making a decision. Your doctor may refer you to a team of healthcare professionals to help you through the process.
Here are some things you might like to try:
- Sleep on it. Do not rush your decision (but remember that some options are influenced by how many weeks pregnant you are).
- Give yourself permission to explore and think about all your options.
- Be kind to yourself. You may feel differently about your options on different days, and that's OK.
- Find as much information as you can to support your decision (such as what support networks are available to you).
- Look after yourself physically and emotionally.
- Remember that the best person to make this decision is you.
It is important that you take the time you need to make the best decision for you at this point in your life.
What role will my partner have?
It is up to you how you will involve your partner when making this decision. The circumstances of your relationship may affect how you feel about your pregnancy and if you choose to involve your partner.
You are the only person who can refuse or consent to an abortion. No one else can force you to have an abortion or continue with your pregnancy.
If you are considering adoption, it is important to remember that both birth parents must consent to a child's adoption. How partners make this decision will differ depending on the circumstances of the relationship.
You may want to attend counselling together, or you or your partner may want to discuss your feelings alone.
How can I look after myself at this time?
Finding out you are pregnant when it is not planned can be very shocking and distressing. Emotional and physical support are important, and can help you make the decision that is right for you.
Emotional support
You can seek emotional support from someone you trust, a counsellor, social worker, your doctor, a support group or a helpline.
You can even try some gentle self-care activities such as mindfulness, relaxation, meditation and exercise.
Physical support
Looking after your physical health during this time is important for your health and wellbeing.
Here are some tips:
- eat regular and balanced meals
- avoid alcohol, smoking and illicit drugs
- rest when you can
- ask your doctor before you take any medicines
If you are working, you may benefit from taking any sick or personal leave you are entitled to. This can allow you to have the time to look after yourself and attend appointments.
Read more about working during pregnancy.
Practical support
If you are looking for practical support, there are support services that you can reach out to.
Decision tools
- Family Planning — Pregnancy: Working through your options booklet.
- Children by Choice — Making a decision online tool.
Support services
Your doctor or local family planning clinic can be a good place to start.
Other places that offer non-biased counselling and support include:
- MSI Australia, or call 1300 405 568.
- 1800 My Options on 1800 696 784 for information about pregnancy options.
- Children by Choice on 1800 177 725 (for Queensland residents only — free call).
- 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 if you have experienced sexual assault or domestic and family violence.
- The Young, Pregnant and Parenting Network for information and support for young pregnant women and parents.
If you are experiencing troubling thoughts, anxiety, depression or are worried about your mental health, contact:
- PANDA on 1300 726 306 for people experiencing anxiety or depression around pregnancy.
- Lifeline on 13 11 14 for crisis support.
- Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for support if you are experiencing anxiety and depression.
- MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78.
Resources and support
- The Royal Women's Hospital has a pregnancy decision-making guide to assist you if you are undecided about whether to continue with your pregnancy.
- Sexual Health Quarters has a brochure with information about your options when finding out you are pregnant.
- Visit Family Planning Australia for more information about continuing an unintended pregnancy.
Languages other than English
The Royal Women's Hospital decision-making guide about pregnancy has been translated into many community languages, avaliable at Health Translations Victoria.
Information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples
Yarning about Pregnancy, working through your options is a booklet published by Family Planning New South Wales for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples.
Speak to a maternal child health nurse
Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby to speak to a maternal child health nurse on 1800 882 436 or video call. Available 7am to midnight (AET), 7 days a week.