What is sex, sexuality and gender identity?

Sex, sexual orientation and gender identity are deeply personal and often complex.

It's important to remember that you are not defined by your sex or gender.

Your sex is based on biology.

Gender is based on how you feel about yourself.

Sexuality or sexual orientation is about your romantic and sexual attraction to others.

These terms are often mentioned when referring to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer/questioning, asexual and other sexually or gender diverse (LGBTIQA+) community.

What is sex?

Sex is based on your biology, including your:

• chromosomes
• external genitals
• internal reproductive organs
• hormones

The sex assigned to you at birth is based on your body's appearance (external genitals). Most people will be identified as either:

• male — having a penis and testes
• female — having a vagina

Other people have more ambiguous genitals. This includes if your genitals have developed differently or are missing. These people may be labelled as intersex.

Intersex people also include those who have external genitals that do not match their chromosomes or internal reproductive organs.

What is gender?

Gender is based on how you feel about yourself. It is not based on your biology. Your gender identity can be the same or different to your sex.

You may feel:

• male — masculine
• female — feminine
• non-binary

Male and female are the most common genders. They make up what is called the gender binary.

Non-binary gender

For some people, the gender binary does not describe how they feel. Genders that are not exclusively male or female are called non-binary.

Non-binary gender can include if you feel:

• a gender that is a mix of male (masculine) and female (feminine)
• a gender that is not male (masculine) or female (feminine)
• agender or gender neutral — a person who does not feel a sense of gender
• gender fluid — a person whose gender changes
• genderqueer — a person whose gender identity does not follow traditional gender norms

Many cultures around the world have a diverse, non-binary view of gender.

Cisgender

Cisgender (cis) is when your gender is the same as your sex assigned at birth.

Transgender

Transgender (trans) is when your gender is different to your sex assigned at birth.

Transgender includes gender diverse and non-binary people.

Some transgender people may choose to change their life to affirm their gender identity. This can include:

• presenting themselves differently, such as through clothing
• changing their social identity, such as by using a different name or new pronouns
• changing their name or gender on legal documents
• medical affirmation, such as through hormone therapy and surgery

Not all transgender people choose to make changes like these.

What is sexuality?

Sexuality refers to your sexual and romantic attraction to others. People of all genders can have different sexualities.

There are many ways you can describe your sexuality.

Here are some common examples of sexuality.

• Heterosexual (straight) is attraction to people of the opposite sex or gender.
• Homosexual (gay) is attraction to people of the same sex or gender. It is usually used to describe people with a male gender identity.
• Lesbian is a person with a female gender identity who is sexually or romantically attracted to people with a female gender identity.
• Bisexual is attraction to more than one gender or sex.
• Pansexual (queer) is attraction to anyone, regardless of their sex or gender.
• Aromantic (aro) is having little or no romantic attraction to people.
• Asexual (ace) is having little or no romantic attraction to people.

The term queer is often used as an umbrella term for all LGBTIQA+ sexual orientations and gender identities. This can include if you are unsure about your orientation or identity.

The label you use to identify your sexuality is up to you. You don't have to label yourself at all. There are endless ways to experience gender and sexuality. It can also change over time.

What if I'm questioning my sexuality or gender identity?

It's normal to question your sexuality and gender identity.

Some people are quite clear about their identify early on in life. Others don't think about it until adulthood.

It can take a long time to fully understand:

• how you see yourself
• your gender
• your sexual preferences

It's OK for your identity to change over time.

When trying to understand who you are, it is normal to feel:

• uncertain
• confused
• curious
• excited
• fearful

Your feelings can be impacted by your culture, religion or beliefs.

It's important to remember that you don't have to rush. You can take as much time as you need to think about your sexuality or gender.

If you are feeling distressed, there are many places you can find information and support.

How can I tell people about my sexual orientation and gender identity?

Gender identity and sexuality are an important part of who we are. It's up to you whether you share your sexuality and gender identity with others or "come out".

Many people have positive experiences of sharing their sexuality and gender. It can lead to:

• acceptance and support
• closer connections
• joy in being able to be your whole authentic self

Unfortunately, many people also fear being open about their gender and sexuality. This is due to the possibility of:

• negative reactions
• discrimination
• bullying
• violence

These things can happen. You do not deserve to be treated poorly because of your sexuality or gender.

If you want to share your sexuality or gender identity with someone, it is most important that you make sure you are safe.

If you're struggling with how to talk about your sexuality or gender identity, there is support available.

Dealing with negative reactions

Rejection and negative reactions to your sexuality and gender identity can be painful. If someone rejects you because of your sexuality or gender, remember that it is not your fault.

Sometimes, a person's first reaction will be based on shock or surprise. It may have taken you a long time to accept your gender and sexuality yourself. If someone important in your life has trouble accepting your identity, it can help to give them time to:

• process their emotions
• learn about your sexuality and gender
• think about how they reacted

You can be as patient as you want to be. This means that you can walk away from a conversation or a relationship to protect your wellbeing.

LGBTIQA+ communities and common mental health issues

If you are part of the LGBTIQA+ community and are struggling with your mental health, you're not alone.

LGBTIQA+ Australians experience higher rates of mental illness and distress than their peers.

Being LGBTIQA+ itself does not cause mental illness. Mental distress in LGBTIQA+ Australians is often related to experiences of:

• stigma
• discrimination such as homophobia or transphobia
• abuse

These experiences can come from:

• Institutions, such as workplaces
• people you know, such as family members and friends
• strangers online and in person
• yourself — internalised homophobia or transphobia

Having negative experiences or fearing discrimination can make you feel:

• stressed and anxious
• isolated and alone
• ashamed
• worthless

These difficult feelings can lead to mental health problems, such as:

• depression
• anxiety
• engaging in self-harm
• suicidal thoughts

How can I look after my mental health?

For good mental health, it's important to look after both your physical, social and mental wellbeing. This can also help you recover if you are struggling.

You can:

• use relaxation techniques such as mindfulness to manage stress
• build resilience to help you manage negative experiences
• practice positive self-talk to build a positive body image and good self-esteem

Remember, you are not alone. There are many people in the LGBTIQA+ community in Australia.

Build a support network

Building strong connections can help protect your wellbeing. You can:

• build healthy relationships with family
• choose supportive friends
• find and connect with peers in the LGBTIQA+ community

Follow a healthy lifestyle

You can support your mental health by making healthy choices, such as by:

• doing physical exercise
• eating well
• sleeping well

Get help

If you are struggling with your mental health, get help as soon as possible.

You can start by talking with someone you trust, such as a family member or friend.

You can also speak to your doctor about getting support. They can refer you to a mental health professional, such as a:

• psychologist or psychiatrist
• counsellor
• social worker

There are mental health professionals who have experience supporting members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

There are many mental health resources and services in Australia that can help you. You can also call mental health helplines for support.

You can read more about where to get help.

Resources and support

There are many organisations supporting the health and wellbeing of the LGBTIQA+ community.

Crisis support

• Lifeline — support for anyone having a personal crisis: call 13 11 14, 24/7, text or chat online.
• Suicide Call Back Service — for anyone thinking about suicide: call 1300 659 467.

Mental health support

• Beyond Blue — for anyone feeling depressed or anxious including members of the LGBTIQ+ community: call 1300 22 4636, email or chat online.
• Medicare Mental Health — for advice and to get connected to local mental health services, you can call 1800 595 212. Check the operating times.

LGBTIQA+ support

• QLife — counselling and referral service for LGBTIQA+ individuals: call 1800 184 527 or chat online.
• ACON — LGBTIQ+ health and HIV prevention and support.
• TransHub — ACON's digital trans and gender diverse platform.

Support for young people

• Headspace — mental health space for ages 12-25 years.
• Kids Helpline — mental health support for young people aged 5-25 years — call 1800 55 1800.
• ReachOut — mental health resources for young people.

Support for parents and friends

• PFLAG — Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

Languages other than English

For information in other languages, you can:

• read Headspace's fact sheet on sexuality and sexual identity in English, Punjabi and Vietnamese
• read Transcend Australia's resources for families, parents and carers of people in the LGBTIQA+ community in different languages
• visit the LGBTIQA+ Multilingual Terminology website for a glossary in multiple languages

You can also look at these easy read resources:

• Transcend Australia's fact sheet on how to be there for your child
• Women with Disabilities Australia (WWDA)'s What is LGBTIQA+? fact sheet
• Sexuality Education Counselling and Consultancy Agency (SECCA)'s brochure on gender diversity

Information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples

You can find resources for LGBTQIASB+ Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples through:

• Australian Indigenous HealthInfoNet
• Acon
• Trans Health Research

You can visit the Victorian Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisation (VACCHO) website for resources for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, Sistergirl and Brotherboy (LGBTQIASB+) community.

You can visit the BlaQ Aboriginal Corporation website for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer + Sistergirl and Brotherboy (LGBTQSB+) Peoples and Communities in New South Wales.

You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.