What is difficulty reaching female orgasm?

You may have difficulty reaching orgasm if you:

• regularly cannot reach orgasm
• take a long time to reach orgasm
• experience less intense orgasms

The medical term for this is female orgasmic disorder, or anorgasmia. This condition is common and can affect people at different times in their lives.

Read more about sexual problems in females.

What are the symptoms of difficulty reaching female orgasm?

Symptoms may include:

• not being able to reach orgasm
• taking a long time to reach orgasm
• orgasms that feel less intense than before
• only being able to reach orgasm with self-stimulation (masturbation), but not with a partner
• feeling unsure whether you have ever had an orgasm
• feeling distressed or frustrated about having difficulty reaching orgasm

Anorgasmia can happen throughout life (lifelong) or might begin later. It may also only happen in certain situations.

What causes difficulty reaching female orgasm?

There are many possible causes of difficulty reaching orgasm. More than one factor is often involved.

Mental health and relationship factors

These may include:

• feeling stressed
• relationship problems
• difficulty communicating your sexual needs with a partner
• lack of sexual education or limited experience with self-stimulation
• a history of unwanted sexual contact
• other female sexual problems — such as painful sex, performance anxiety or low libido
• mental health conditions — such as anxiety or depression

Physical, medical and lifestyle factors

These may include:

• hormone changes — such as after childbirth, during perimenopause or after menopause
• medicines — such as antidepressants or strong pain medicines
• treatments — such as hormone therapy or cancer treatment
• physical health conditions — such as thyroid problems or neurological (nerve) disorders
• alcohol or drug use

Some changes in orgasm are normal as you get older. Orgasms may become less intense or take longer to happen.

When should I see my doctor?

See your doctor if difficulty reaching orgasm:

• continues over time
• is causing distress or affecting your mental health and wellbeing
• is affecting your relationship

You can also talk to a:

• psychologist
• relationship counsellor
• sex therapist (also known as a sexologist) — a professional who specialises in sexual health and relationships

How is difficulty reaching female orgasm diagnosed?

Your doctor may ask you questions about:

• your sex life and relationships
• medical history
• medicines you use
• mental health

Female orgasmic disorder is diagnosed when orgasm difficulties:

• happen in most sexual experiences
• continue for at least 6 months
• lead to distress or affect your mental health and wellbeing

How is difficulty reaching female orgasm treated?

Treatment depends on the cause.

If a medicine affects your sexual response, your doctor may change the dose or suggest a different medicine. Treating an underlying health condition may also help.

If you are postmenopausal, testosterone treatment may improve orgasm and sexual satisfaction. There is not enough evidence to recommend this for younger females.

Your doctor may refer you to an accredited sex therapist or specialist clinic for further support.

Psychological treatments

Psychological treatments are often effective. These may include:

• cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) — a type of therapy that helps you change unhelpful thoughts and behaviours
• relationship counselling
• mindfulness — a technique that helps you focus on the present moment
• guided self-stimulation exercises
• sensate focus therapy — structured exercises that build physical and emotional closeness

Talk with your sexual partner

If you can reach orgasm with self-stimulation (masturbation) but not with your sexual partner, communication or relationship factors may be part of the problem.

You should talk openly about your sexual needs. Relationship counselling or sex therapy may also help.

Living with difficulty reaching female orgasm

Difficulty reaching orgasm can be frustrating and may relate to different parts of your life. Try to identify what may be contributing so you can take steps to address it.

These are small steps you can take to support your sexual wellbeing:

• Learn about sexual health and how your body responds.
• Talk openly with your partner about your sexual needs.
• Manage stress and make time to rest.
• Address relationship conflict early.
• Seek treatment for vaginal dryness, infection or discomfort.
• Create a private and calm space for intimacy where possible.

Support and treatment are available.

What are the complications of difficulty reaching female orgasm?

Difficulty reaching orgasm may affect your emotional wellbeing and your relationships.

Sexual difficulties may also lead to less sexual satisfaction and may affect your confidence or self-esteem.

Can difficulty reaching female orgasm be prevented?

It is not always possible to prevent difficulty reaching orgasm. You can reduce the chance by supporting your physical, emotional and relationship wellbeing.

Learning about sexual response, communicating openly with your partner and managing stress may help improve sexual satisfaction and make orgasm easier to achieve.

Resources and support

The Royal Women's Hospital has more information about inability to orgasm.

Sexual Health and Intimacy Psychological Services (SHIPS) has information on anorgasmia and offers self-help resources and services.

Sexual Health Australia provides support and information about sexual health, relationships and sexual wellbeing.

Jean Hailes for Women's Health has information about a range of female health topics.

You can search for a sex therapist on the Society of Australian Sexologists website.

You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Information in Easy Read format

Jean Hailes has Easy Read and multilingual resources on women's health topics.

Women With Disabilities Australia has Easy Read resources on sexual health and wellbeing.

Information for sexually and gender-diverse families

TransHub provides information about sexual health and wellbeing for trans and gender-diverse people.

QLife has free LGBTIQ+ peer support and referral, so you can talk about sexuality, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships.

Information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples

Australian Indigenous HealthInfoNet has information about sexuality, relationships and sexual health for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

Youth Educating Peers (YEP) offers culturally relevant sexual health information and resources for young Aboriginal people.

Take Blaktion, from NSW Health's Play Safe campaign, has information about orgasm and other sexual health terms and topics for Aboriginal communities.