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Building and maintaining healthy relationships

10-minute read

Key facts

  • Healthy relationships help you feel happier, more valued and appreciated.
  • A healthy relationship takes time, care and ongoing effort to build and maintain.
  • Respect, trust, kindness and open communication are signs of a healthy relationship.
  • It is normal for relationships to have ups and downs.
  • A relationship is not healthy if someone uses control, manipulation, abuse or violence.

What is a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships support your wellbeing. They help you feel loved, good about yourself and understood.

People in healthy relationships often feel happy and satisfied with life. You may feel less lonely and better able to cope with challenges.

Healthy relationships don't just happen — they grow over time. Act with kindness, listen to each other and solve problems together to build a stronger, more caring relationship.

What are the signs of a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship feels safe, kind and supportive. You trust and respect each other and can speak honestly — even when you don't agree.

Signs of a healthy relationship may include that you both:

How you divide household chores and care for children can also affect how healthy your relationship feels. Feeling that tasks are shared fairly can reduce stress and help you feel more supported.

What are the benefits of healthy relationships?

Healthy relationships can help you feel happier and stay connected. Feeling loved and supported may also improve your overall wellbeing.

When your relationship is healthy, you may:

What is communication in a healthy relationship?

In a healthy relationship, communication means talking and listening with respect.

People who speak openly, listen carefully and work through problems together often feel more satisfied in their relationship.

Sometimes you may still have misunderstandings — that's normal. Good communication can help avoid bigger problems by helping you understand each other better.

To make communication easier, try these tips:

You can also try these strategies:

Non-verbal communication

Communication isn't just about words. Non-verbal communication also plays a big role. This includes your:

These signals, such as nodding or staying relaxed, can show care, interest and understanding. If you're distant or turned away, they can make the other person feel ignored.

How can I maintain healthy relationships?

Healthy relationships take time and regular effort.

Here are some tips for a healthy relationship:

Intimacy is an important part of a close relationship between partners. Try to be affectionate and show appreciation — even healthy relationships can become routine after a while. Make special time together and continue to show your affection. Even just snuggling on the couch after work helps show intimacy.

Are you having relationship issues?

It's normal for relationships to go through ups and downs. People grow and change over time, which can lead to different opinions or expectations. These differences don't always mean a relationship is unhealthy.

A relationship may become unhealthy when:

What does an unhealthy relationship look like?

You may be in an unhealthy relationship if you:

A relationship is unsafe if someone uses:

These behaviours are never acceptable and can have serious effects on your wellbeing.

If you recognise these signs or notice changes in your sleep, appetite, memory or health, talk to someone you trust or contact a support service.

Read more about the signs of a toxic relationship.

How can I cope if a relationship ends?

If you, or someone you know, is in immediate danger of hurting themselves or others, call triple zero (000).

It's normal to feel sad, confused or overwhelmed when a relationship ends. These feelings may be strong but there are ways to cope and look after your wellbeing.

You may find it helpful to try these tips:

Try to be kind to yourself and remember that support is available if you need it.

Resources and support

Relationships Australia has information on various topics, such as healthy relationships and communication.

Services Australia has information on family and domestic violence.

ReachOut Australia has guides and tools for people between 16 and 25 years of age, including how to say sorry.

If you would like to talk to someone about your relationship, these organisations can help:

Languages other than English

PEACE multicultural services — resources and support for people from diverse cultural and language backgrounds.

Relationships Australia — support available in languages other than English.

Parent Line — free telephone counselling for parents and carers.

Embrace Multicultural Mental Health — mental health resources and personal stories translated in more than 30 languages.

Information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples

Relationships Australia — support for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples.

13YARN — confidential crisis support for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples. Call 13 92 76.

Brother to Brother — offers phone support for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander males needing to talk about relationship issues, family violence or other concerns. Call 1800 435 799.

ReachOut Australia — video resources about family troubles for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples between 16 and 25 years of age.

Information for sexually and gender-diverse families

QLife has free LGBTIQ+ peer support and referral, so you can talk about sexuality, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships.

Visit Healthy Relationships for resources and support designed for sexually and gender-diverse families.

queerspace counselling is a non-judgemental, queer affirmative counselling service.

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