Building and maintaining healthy relationships

Healthy relationships support your wellbeing. They help you feel loved, good about yourself and understood.

People in healthy relationships often feel happy and satisfied with life. You may feel less lonely and better able to cope with challenges.

Healthy relationships don't just happen — they grow over time. Act with kindness, listen to each other and solve problems together to build a stronger, more caring relationship.

A healthy relationship feels safe, kind and supportive. You trust and respect each other and can speak honestly — even when you don't agree.

Signs of a healthy relationship may include that you both:

• feel safe to share your thoughts and say when you disagree
• talk openly and honestly about problems and work together to reach your shared goals
• trust and depend on each other and invest in the relationship
• enjoy spending time together and make time for each other
• stay emotionally close, listen to each other and compromise
• support and respect each other through stress, money worries or different beliefs
• share similar values about raising children (Opens in new tab) and family life

How you divide household chores and care for children can also affect how healthy your relationship feels. Feeling that tasks are shared fairly can reduce stress and help you feel more supported.

Healthy relationships can help you feel happier and stay connected. Feeling loved and supported may also improve your overall wellbeing.

When your relationship is healthy, you may:

• have better mental health
• feel less lonely or stressed
• handle problems with more confidence
• feel stronger and supported during tough times
• enjoy life more and feel more satisfied
• cope more easily with stress or change

In a healthy relationship, communication means talking and listening with respect.

People who speak openly, listen carefully and work through problems together often feel more satisfied in their relationship.

Sometimes you may still have misunderstandings — that's normal. Good communication can help avoid bigger problems by helping you understand each other better.

To make communication easier, try these tips:

• Say clearly what you want to say.
• Listen carefully to the other person.
• Try to see things from their point of view.
• Check that you've understood each other correctly.
• Show warmth and interest when your partner shares something.

You can also try these strategies:

• Set aside time to talk to each other without interruptions.
• Speak openly and respectfully about anything worrying you.
• Face challenges together by using kindness, compromise and clear communication.

Non-verbal communication

Communication isn't just about words. Non-verbal communication also plays a big role. This includes your:

• posture and body language
• voice tone
• facial expressions
• eye contact

These signals, such as nodding or staying relaxed, can show care, interest and understanding. If you're distant or turned away, they can make the other person feel ignored.

Healthy relationships take time and regular effort.

Here are some tips for a healthy relationship:

• Talk openly with each other — sharing your thoughts, feelings and concerns helps build trust and reduces misunderstandings.
• Listen with care — relationships feel stronger when both people feel heard and understood. Try to show you're listening by nodding, asking questions or saying something like "I understand how you feel".
• Be supportive and affectionate — how you react matters. Show support and affection. You can say something like "I'm really glad that happened for you" to help the other person feel valued.
• Spend time together and make your relationship a priority — spending time together helps you feel closer. It can be hard to balance relationships, work, family and friends. You can help set a work-life balance by setting limits at work and learning to say 'no'.
• Face pressures as a team — common challenges include money worries, different beliefs, mental health concerns, busy schedules or housework. Talking through these issues together helps you feel more supported.
• Use compromise and kindness — focus on your shared values and long-term goals, use compromise and kindness to find fair solutions, and show appreciation when the other person makes an effort or compromises.
• Ask for help if you need it — if things feel overwhelming, it's OK to reach out to friends, family or a support service.

Intimacy is an important part of a close relationship between partners. Try to be affectionate and show appreciation — even healthy relationships can become routine after a while. Make special time together and continue to show your affection. Even just snuggling on the couch after work helps show intimacy.

It's normal for relationships to go through ups and downs. People grow and change over time, which can lead to different opinions or expectations. These differences don't always mean a relationship is unhealthy.

A relationship may become unhealthy when:

• you can't resolve concerns
• communication breaks down
• you feel unsupported

What does an unhealthy relationship look like?

You may be in an unhealthy relationship if you:

• feel worried, unsafe or unsure around the other person
• argue often or avoid talking about problems
• feel like the other person controls your decisions, money, social life or daily routine
• feel criticised, dismissed or unsupported when you try to talk about your needs
• feel ongoing stress from issues such as money, work, family expectations or different values
• notice that the relationship affects your mental health, confidence or sense of who you are

A relationship is unsafe if someone uses:

• power and control
• manipulation
• any form of abuse or violence — including emotional, verbal, financial, sexual or physical abuse

These behaviours are never acceptable and can have serious effects on your wellbeing.

If you recognise these signs or notice changes in your sleep, appetite, memory or health, talk to someone you trust or contact a support service.

Read more about the signs of a toxic relationship.

How can I cope if a relationship ends?

Relationships Australia (Opens in new tab) has information on various topics, such as healthy relationships (Opens in new tab) and communication (Opens in new tab).

Services Australia has information on family and domestic violence (Opens in new tab).

ReachOut Australia has guides and tools for people between 16 and 25 years of age, including how to say sorry (Opens in new tab).

If you would like to talk to someone about your relationship, these organisations can help:

• Lifeline (Opens in new tab) — support for anyone in a personal crisis. Call 13 11 14 or chat online.
• MensLine Australia (Opens in new tab) — counselling and online forums for males. Call 1300 78 99 78.
• Relationships Australia (Opens in new tab) — support groups and counselling, including help for people in an abusive relationship. Call 1300 364 277.
• Relationships Australia (Opens in new tab) — also provides support for sexually and gender-diverse families.
• ReachOut Australia (Opens in new tab) — anonymous online support for people between 16 and 25 years of age.

Languages other than English

PEACE multicultural services (Opens in new tab) — resources and support for people from diverse cultural and language backgrounds.

Relationships Australia (Opens in new tab) — support available in languages other than English.

Parent Line (Opens in new tab) — free telephone counselling for parents and carers.

Embrace Multicultural Mental Health (Opens in new tab) — mental health resources and personal stories translated in more than 30 languages.

Information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples

Relationships Australia (Opens in new tab) — support for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples.

13YARN (Opens in new tab) — confidential crisis support for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples. Call 13 92 76.

Brother to Brother — offers phone support for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander males needing to talk about relationship issues, family violence or other concerns. Call 1800 435 799.

ReachOut Australia (Opens in new tab) — video resources about family troubles for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples between 16 and 25 years of age.

Information for sexually and gender-diverse families

QLife (Opens in new tab) has free LGBTIQ+ peer support and referral, so you can talk about sexuality, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships.

Visit Healthy Relationships (Opens in new tab) for resources and support designed for sexually and gender-diverse families.

queerspace (Opens in new tab) counselling is a non-judgemental, queer affirmative counselling service.