Anger management

13-minute read

Key facts

Anger is a normal human emotion that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage.
If you don't control your anger, it can lead to aggressive behaviour and violence.
Problem anger can be addressed by psychological support and therapy.
Frequent unmanaged anger can damage your health and relationships.

What is anger?

Anger is a normal human emotion. It is often triggered by a sense of injustice to yourself or others. It can range from feeling mildly annoyed to intense rage. Everyone feels angry sometimes.

Anger can be healthy when expressed assertively. Sometimes anger can motivate you to change a situation.

It's what we do when we're angry that can cause problems. For example, anger expressed as violence can cause physical injury and even death.

If you, or someone you know, is in immediate danger of hurting themselves or others, call triple zero (000).

What are the signs and symptoms of anger?

Anger makes your heart rate and blood pressure go up. This happens as your body produces more of the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline. This is your body's 'fight or flight' response.

You may feel:

hot, flushed and start sweating
your muscles clench
pressure building in your head
your heart start to pound
that you are breathing faster than normal

Emotionally, you may feel like you're:

losing patience
irritated or on edge
frustrated
overwhelmed

Is anger a mental health condition?

Anger is not a mental health condition itself, but it can be a symptom of some mental health conditions, including:

borderline personality disorder
bipolar disorder
oppositional defiant disorder

What causes anger?

Anger may be triggered by situations that we think:

are unfair
someone has wronged us
someone has humiliated us
someone has put our social status at risk

You may find that certain situations are likely to trigger an anger response. If you feel resentful or overwhelmed, you may be at risk of anger.

Do I have an anger problem?

Everyone feels angry from time to time. But it's how you show your anger that matters. If you don't control your anger, it can lead to aggressive behaviour like yelling, throwing things or storming out.

It's not okay to express anger in ways that can hurt you, other people or objects.

If you think you have problems managing your anger, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

Has anger caused any problems in your relationships or work life?
Do you sometimes have trouble controlling your behaviour when you're angry?
Have you ever been angry and later regretted what you did?
Have you ever become so angry that you damaged things or became abusive or violent?
Have other people mentioned that anger might be a problem for you?

If you answer 'yes' to any of these questions, consider talking to your doctor or a mental health professional. They can help you learn how to better manage your anger.

FIND A HEALTH SERVICE — The Service Finder can help you find doctors, pharmacies, hospitals and other health services.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR — Preparing for an appointment? Use the Question Builder for general tips on what to ask your GP or specialist.

What are the treatments for anger?

There are many different types of anger management therapies and training courses. These can be individual, group and online.

Anger self-management

You can control your anger by recognising when you become angry. If you notice you are getting angry, you can learn how to calm yourself down.

It's possible to express anger in an assertive and respectful way. Other people are not responsible for making you angry — you can choose how you react.

If you feel yourself getting angry, there are techniques you can try to stop yourself becoming violent or abusive. If you practise these techniques — you'll be able to use them when you're losing control.

Identify the things that make you angry	If you know the things that frustrate you and make you angry, you may be able to avoid them or do things differently. When you start to feel angry, ask yourself what is causing it. If it's a valid reason, then you can acknowledge that. But also ask yourself if your reading of the situation is correct — maybe there's another perspective.
Spot the physical warning signs of anger	If you can identify the physical warning signs of anger, you will have a chance to calm yourself before the situation escalates.
Time out	'Time out' means stepping away from a situation and giving yourself space. It may help to say, 'I need to take a break — I'll come back in half an hour'. This gives you a chance to 'cool down'.
Controlled breathing	Try taking 5 long, deep breaths and slowing your breathing. Making your exhale longer than your breath in helps. While you're breathing, try to relax the muscles in your arms and face.
Talk yourself down	Telling yourself you can handle the situation can help calm you down. You might try saying things like 'Okay, I can handle this' or 'I'm not going to let this get to me'. Or you might try words like 'relax' or 'take it easy' while you breathe deeply. Try to avoid negative statements that might make you feel angrier. These can talk up the situation, such as 'she's always doing that' or 'how dare he!'.
Distraction	Shifting the focus from the situation to something else, even briefly, can be enough to defuse a situation. Try distracting yourself by: listening to music counting to 10 calling a friend This may be enough to distract you from what is making you angry.
Use imagery	Picturing yourself in a relaxing situation may help. This may be swimming or lying on a beach, sitting on a mountain top, or reading to your children.
Gentle exercise	Gentle exercise, such as yoga, or other forms of stretching can relax your muscles and make you feel calmer. Taking your dog out for a walk can be a circuit breaker and change your perspective.

Other treatment options

Problem anger can be addressed by psychological support and therapy. This can help you change your way of thinking or how you respond to situations which trigger your anger.

Counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) may help you change unhelpful thoughts and behaviours.

Relaxation skills training can decrease tension in your body.

Problem solving helps you identify a situation that might trigger an angry response.

Communication skills training can help you learn calmer ways of handling situations which may trigger an angry response.

Anger management training does not dismiss your anger. It tries to help you develop techniques to manage the anger in a healthy way.

If you feel that your anger is out of control, it may help to talk to a doctor or psychologist. You may be eligible for a Medicare rebate if your doctor refers you to a psychologist.

For advice and to get connected to local mental health services, call Head to Health on 1800 595 212. Check the operating times.

What are the consequences of uncontrolled anger?

Long-term, unmanaged anger can damage your health and relationships. It can lead to loss of control and regret.

Anger can lead to:

Resources and support

Here are some online resources that may be helpful:

MensLine Australia — Anger Management Toolkit

Alternatively, you can call helplines such as:

Kids Helpline — for young people aged 5 to 25 years — 1800 55 1800
Lifeline — for crisis support — 13 11 14
MensLine — support for Australian men — 1300 78 99 78
SANE Australia — free counselling service — 1800 187 263

You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.